In the beginning I knew nothing. I was a mom, what did I know about special education needs, disability quotients or IDEA law ?
I stumbled across something called "parent advocates" during a visit to a local support group meeting. The school district certainly did
not give me this information. The Parent/Education Advocate is one of those "in the trenches" occupations. I and many parents like
myself need help from advocates to know what to ask for in IEP meetings
I faced that first IEP for my son without an advocate or any other support. I trusted the school for everything - information about my
son, what he needed and how the school could help. I wanted specifics. But, there were no baseline measurements as to where he
was functioning. Instead, this document that was to determine my son's educational future said things like "Terry is unorganized," "Terry is unmotivated," and "Terry lacks social skills."
It would have been useful to know how often Terry was unorganized. Was it 20 % of the school day? 50%? The entire day? Exactly how
often did he lose his math homework? Were there ever times when he was organized and motivated? Did there appear to be any pattern to
this behavior?
Those first IEP meetings were horrible. Rather than addressing classroom issues, the teachers and other education professionals
blamed me for having no discipline in the home, and spending insufficient quality homework help-time with my son. They ignored me
when I described that I had learning disabilities myself. All of this was very frustrating.
The school seemed to be focused on avoiding any responsibility for my child's education. For example, although my son had a math-
related learning disability, they never would add a math goal to the IEP. Instead, they insisted my son go to summer school each year
when he repeatedly failed math. Rather than teaching my son, they simply passed him along so someone else would have to take care of
him.
What goals were included were terribly vague. "Terry will become organized." How? The IEP never said who would help him do this or
how he was to become organized…and by when…and he was given only 30 minutes per week to accomplish this.
This was before the 1997 IDEA changes, when Congress rewrote part of IDEA and emphasized that the Parent is the number one member of the
IEP team-"parent" is actually listed first in the citation!
But even after the new rules were in effect, I still needed an advocate. The school still stalled and avoided responsibility. My
concerns and questions at IEP meetings were always met with "We need to keep moving." The same mass production mentality that was failing
my son in the classroom was failing in these meetings as well. "Our teachers have pulled themselves away from their students to be here
with you now for this meeting, which is getting way too long."
I didn't know what was supposed to happen, but I knew that this couldn't be right. I hired an advocate and an attorney for my son.
Advocates understand IEP lingo and objective measurement time frames. The advocates attempted to obtain a workable IEP for my son
that had measures and accountability included.
After a few years of this I began to learn about IDEA and what should be included in a good IEP. Three publications that were very
helpful for me were: "Better IEP's," by Barbara Bateman, "Negotiating the Special Education Maze" by Winifred
Anderson and Wrightslaw.com, wirtten by Peter and Pamela Wright.
Now I understood what to ask for in order to help my son, but advocacy requires more than just a basic understanding of the law.
My emotional angst concerning my child would always cloud my perspective. The parent advocate, with a less emotional, more
objective perspective, continued to be helpful.
Many times it seemed the school did not know the IEP laws-they just suggested a few vague things and expected me to accept them which I
did in the beginning. These were kind teachers and counselors who liked my child very much. It seems that both parents and schools
need to have help to create an IEP based on the needs of the child.
Good school/parent cooperation is the best thing that can happen for a child with special needs. Unfortunately, this is often a dream and
not reality. Instead, parents and teachers are pitted against one another by policies designed for the benefit of the district and not
the student.
In the end everything became so negative and adversarial. The school refused to be more specific and offer tutors or small classes. When
my child's IOWA scores declined and my child was doing worse with Special Education-the school told me that I could always go to due
process if I wasn't happy!!
I heard this everywhere I went…
You even hear State Board of Education Commissioners say this, and US Congressmen and OCR government attorneys…I know, I've been there
and "done that".
I was forced to get an attorney. Do you know how hard it is to find an attorney who wants to practice Special Education Law? At the time
there were only 2 in my state. The school district by law must tell parents where they can get legal help if necessary-but what a joke
that was…
My choices were:
Thursday Night Bar Group--a group of rotating lawyers who could give you bits of advice, The state's "Legal Center" -but when I called I found they were not
representing my child's group of disabilities that year. So I was forced to meet with one of the two attorneys-thank God I lived in the same city…
After a year the bill came to $15,000 and this was a very conscientious attorney who actually had a fairly low hourly fee.
School districts have teams of attorneys on retainers. Think about this, if it cost me $15,000, what did it cost the school district?
Taxpayers ARE the schools. We pay for the attorneys who fight against our children!!
In the end there often is only a parent who gets beat down and must give up-many of us turn to homeschooling or private schools. One of
us last saw her wedding ring at the local pawn shop when she borrowed money to pay for a due process meeting with the attorney.
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